You Make Me Weak (The Blackwells of Crystal Lake Book 1) Read online

  She still had a thing for owls.

  The space wasn’t large, but the design gave it optimum room. An island provided extra seating, and a large window brought in the outdoors—the river and the dam. The backyard was a good size, though the shed in the far corner looked like it needed some improvements, and the deck should be shored up.

  He walked over to the table, his gaze moving over pictures of Liam, Rebecca, and a few of her brother, Mackenzie, who seemed to have landed a beautiful wife and a new baby. Huh. Never thought Mac would turn into a family man.

  He hadn’t noticed any of this stuff the night before, but then he’d been getting naked with Rebecca and the damn décor wasn’t at the top of his list of things that mattered.

  Hudson stood in the middle of the kitchen for a good long while, unsure how to proceed. He didn’t give a damn that Rebecca had blown him off. There were things that needed to be discussed and addressed. Things he needed to say.

  He might have stuck around for it too, if not for the timely alarm clock sounding once again. It echoed shrilly through the empty house, and he winced. It was as if Rebecca knew he needed a kick in the ass to get him out the door.

  With a sigh, Hudson headed outside, taking note that the shutters needed painting and the railing needed to be secured. The porch floorboards, however, looked as if they’d been attended to and prettied up with a fresh coat of off-white.

  He sat in hi truck, glaring at the house. He sure as hell hadn’t seen this coming. Not Rebecca. Not the sex. Not waking up alone. Not any of it. Hudson turned the key, and the engine roared to life. With one final look at her place, he backed out of Rebecca’s driveway and headed out to the lake.

  She might have thought getting the hell out of Dodge before he got his ass up was a good way to get rid of Hudson.

  “Not a chance,” he murmured. She should know better. Seemed as if time and distance had made Rebecca Draper forget a few things. Like the fact it was going to take a hell of a lot more than a damn note to keep him away.

  The sun glinted off the top of the hood as he sped down River Road, the town disappearing from his rear view mirror. He had some things he needed to take care of, but he’d be back. Now that he knew where she was bunkered down, Rebecca couldn’t hide from him.

  Hudson turned up the radio, and for the first time since he’d been home, found himself looking forward to what was coming next.

  Chapter 8

  The door opened before Rebecca had a chance to knock.

  “Hey.” She barely got the word out before Violet reached out and yanked her inside, quickly hustling her over to the kitchen and plopping her onto a seat at the island. The open space was full of light, thanks to the bank of windows, and several vases of fresh flowers drank it in.

  Rebecca watched Violet warily, noting the spiky hair, flushed cheeks, and…geez, love bites on her neck. The Grinch Christmas nighty was a little much and barely covered her shocking pink undies, but then, this was Violet. Her crazy-ass best friend. Her go-to person. The one woman on the planet who never judged.

  And she’d at least made the effort to pull them on.

  Rebecca cleared her throat and started to speak, but Violet shook her head and held her hand up for added emphasis.

  “Nope. Not yet. We need to get this right.”

  Violet poured two large mugs of coffee and then grabbed cream from the fridge. She slid onto the chair across from Rebecca and then swore, jumping to her feet again.

  “What the—”

  “I said not yet.” Violet reached into the cupboard beside the fridge and grabbed the bowl of sugar. She sat back down, fixed their coffees, and then, after taking a sip from her mug, nodded at Rebecca. Her face was eager. “Okay, I’m ready.”

  “Good to know,” Rebecca replied, holding the mug between her hands for warmth. She’d been cold since she got up. Since she’d wriggled out from Hudson’s arms and left him in her bed.

  Naked. In her bed.

  “Spill. I’ve been waiting since you called me an hour ago.”

  Rebecca swallowed some of the hot brew and set her cup back down. The words burned at the back of her throat where they’d been since the early hours of the morning. She had to clear her throat again and take a mental step back.

  Violet’s eyes widened, and she leaned closer. “I knew it. This is gonna be good.”

  “Where’s Adam?”

  Okay. Those weren’t the words she’d been dying to share, but considering the fog Rebecca had been in since she woke up, it was a start.

  Her friend gave her a look that said, are you kidding me? “He went to get the twins at his mother’s. I told you that already. Shit, I had to make up the lamest excuse ever so that I could stay home and get the goods from you.”

  “What was the excuse?”

  Violet snorted. “Becs, really? We need to do this?”

  Rebecca nodded, the tension easing a bit. “We do.”

  “Well,” Violet began dramatically. “I told Adam that the sex was so good and so hard, and so damn long last night that my girlie parts—”

  “Okay,” Rebecca cut in with a laugh. “I get it.”

  “Did you?”

  “Did I what?”

  “Did you get it last night? Because everyone in town is talking about it, and I want details.”

  Rebecca opened her mouth and then slammed it shut again. She felt the heat burn up her face and winced when Violet giggled. Everyone in town. Great.

  “I knew when you disappeared, something was up.” Violet leaned closer and lowered her voice, which was ridiculous considering they were the only two people in the house. “So was he good?”

  “Everyone knows?” Rebecca croaked.

  “I might have exaggerated a bit. Maybe not everyone.” Violet shrugged. “I heard some of the guys talking, and then Melissa Davidson said something about you and Ethan.”

  Rebecca jerked back in her chair. “Ethan?”

  Violet’s wicked smile slowly faded, and she was silent for a few seconds. “You guys were pretty cozy on the dance floor, and then you both disappeared at the same time, so…”

  Rebecca knew exactly when her girlfriend realized she’d gotten the story wrong. Violet’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. “You didn’t leave with Ethan last night.”

  Rebecca slowly shook her head and reached for her coffee cup. “No.”

  Violet watched her closely, and Rebecca could see the wheels spinning. Her friend’s eyes narrowed, and then she was off her chair like a shot.

  “Don’t you say another word. Hold on.” She rummaged through the cupboard above the fridge and returned to the table with a bottle of whiskey.

  “Really, Violet? It’s barely past eight in the morning.”

  Violet held the bottle in front of Rebecca. “Do you want some or not?”

  Rebecca hesitated, for like two seconds, and then, with a sigh, held out her mug. Violet poured a generous finger or two for each of them and then grabbed a box of donuts from the pantry before she settled down. She shoved one of the sugared delights into her mouth and nodded.

  “Okay. I’m ready.”

  “Hudson took me home.”

  “I knew it!” Violet grabbed another donut. “And?”

  “I slept with him.”

  Violet had to take a good long gulp of coffee to wash down the donut, and she still sputtered and stammered when she found her voice. “You slept with him? What the hell? Last night, you made it seem like if he was the last man on earth, you wouldn’t go there.”

  Rebecca almost choked on her coffee. “This tastes disgusting.”

  “Never mind that. I need the deets. What happened. How?”

  Rebecca sighed. She picked up one of the donuts, but her stomach was full of nerves, and she knew she’d never get it down. She put the chocolate confection back and shrugged.

  “I wish I could blame it on booze, but I can’t.” She paused. “I was having a good time, and Ethan was being so nice, you know?”

/>   Violet nodded, her head bobbing up and down as she reached for her third donut. “I know.”

  “I didn’t care that Hudson was there. Didn’t care at all.”

  Liar.

  “And then…”

  “Then?” Violet prompted, mouth full.

  “Shelli was all over him, and I don’t know. Something inside me just…” She stumbled over her words, trying to think of the right ones to describe what she’d felt. “I wanted to scratch her eyes out. For talking to him.”

  “This is Shelli Gouthro. She doesn’t just talk to a man.”

  “Doesn’t matter. I haven’t seen Hudson in over ten years, so it’s seriously screwed up to get upset because he was talking to a woman.”

  “Again. Not just any woman. We’re talking about Shelli.”

  Rebecca shook her head. “It’s still screwed up.”

  “Not really. You and Hudson have a complicated past. He was your first love. There’s always going to be some kind of territorial thing going on.”

  A few seconds of quiet passed. “Well, we sure as hell got territorial last night. I saw him leave, and, I don’t know what I was thinking. I followed him out to the parking lot and threw myself at him.”

  “I doubt that.”

  “No. I did.” Rebecca winced at the memory. “I told him to take me home and then practically dragged him into the house.”

  Violet finished her coffee. “Hudson’s a big boy, and I saw the way he looked at you last night. He didn’t like you with Ethan. That was pretty obvious. Trust me. You didn’t drag him anywhere he didn’t want to be.”

  Rebecca waited while her girlfriend topped up her coffee, though she refused any more whiskey. When Violet plopped down beside her, a slow smile spread across her face.

  “So,” Violet began, that smile of hers widening. “How was it?”

  How was it? Rebecca blew out a long breath, squirming a bit as she thought back to the night before. She was sore, but it was the good kind of sore that came from a long night of hot sex.

  “It was good,” she managed to say, avoiding Violet’s eyes.

  “Good?” Violet got to her feet. “It was good? Jesus, Rebecca. You have to give me more. Good is when the fettuccine noodles are done just right, or when you break a nail and Ramona at the salon can fit you in. Good is when you’ve made it through the week without overdosing on carbs.” She shook her head. “Seriously. If you’re telling me that sex with Hudson was good, then I’m taking back the donuts, because you so don’t deserve them.”

  She reached for the box, but Rebecca grabbed it and held it up. “Okay. God, you’re relentless.” She snagged the last chocolate morsel and popped it in her mouth. “Sex with Hudson was amazing. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

  Violet slid back onto her chair. “How amazing?”

  “Better than chocolate.”

  “That’s pretty friggin’ amazing.”

  Rebecca was quiet for a few moments. “I thought after the second time, it couldn’t get any better, but then…”

  “Second? How many times did you guys get territorial?”

  She blushed. “Three.”

  Violet dug in for another donut. “And what made door number three better than chocolate?”

  How could Rebecca explain it? It wasn’t as if Hudson had done something out of the ordinary. But the way he’d looked at her. The way he’d touched her when he was inside her. Something was different. It had been more intimate. More intense. It had been… More.

  And that wasn’t acceptable. That spelled trouble.

  “I don’t know. We just… It just was.”

  “Okay. I’ll take that for now.” Violet’s eyebrows rose in question. “And then he left?”

  “No. He was still there this morning.” Tangled in her sheets. Every single naked inch of him. She’d taken the time to look him over—really look him over, and even now, her body reacted to the sight. His tattoos were intricate. Dangerous. Sexy. His body was perfection. It was muscular and trim. His face, relaxed in sleep, could make an angel weep. And those hands of his—large, male… The things they’d done to her.

  “He’s still at your place?” Violet looked surprised.

  Rebecca glanced out the window, suddenly feeling very vulnerable. “I don’t know. I left him a note and asked him to leave. Said I’d be back by noon.”

  “Wow. That’s kind of harsh, don’t you think?”

  “No.” Rebecca looked at her friend. “Last night shouldn’t have happened, and I can’t let it happen again.”

  “But don’t you think maybe it happened for a reason? Obviously, there’s still something there.” Violet looked at her pointedly. “Maybe the two of you being back here at the same time means something. Maybe—”

  “There is no maybe. There will never be anything between us. I had too much to drink and things happened and that’s the end of that.”

  “Then what are you going to do?”

  Rebecca reached for another donut. “I’m going to do what any other responsible, sane woman who had sex with someone they shouldn’t have had sex with would do.”

  “And that would be…” Violet waited expectantly.

  She nibbled the edge of her donut, mind made up. “I’m going to pretend it didn’t happen.”

  Chapter 9

  Darlene was at the house when Hudson got home. The smell of coffee and bacon made his stomach rumble, and he headed to the back where the kitchen and great room overlooked the lake. A large, open space, it had always been the main hub of the Blackwell place and for good reason. It was big, bright, and inviting. And for a bunch of growing boys, more importantly, it was where the food was.

  “There you are,” Darlene said with a smile as she bustled about the kitchen.

  He inhaled the mouth-watering scents. “You didn’t have to do this.”

  She shrugged and smiled but said nothing.

  Hudson took some time to appreciate his surroundings. The gleaming countertops and stainless-steel appliances were new, as were the cupboards. Gone was the oak that Hudson had grown up with. It been replaced by dark cherry, which was a smart contrast to the light cream-colored granite countertops.

  “When did this all happen?” Hudson asked, sliding onto one of the stools at the island. This was the first chance he’d had to chat with her since he’d come back to Crystal Lake. Darlene handed him a cup of coffee, which he accepted with a smile, and he took a sip, watching as she prepared him a plate of food. Along with bacon, there were eggs, hash browns and—he smiled—fresh-cut pineapple, which was his favorite.

  The woman remembered everything.

  “Last year. Just before Christmas.” She set the plate down in front of him and got busy cleaning up while he dug in. Shit. A guy could get used to this.

  “This is amazing. Thanks, Darlene.”

  He watched as she tossed some plates into the dishwasher. After his mother passed, she’d appeared in their lives and had become as much a part of the Blackwell clan as any family member. She’d come in as a newly divorced woman in search of an income—she’d been hired to look after the boys—and had never left.

  A few years younger than his father, she’d managed to age in a much more gentle, refined way. Her body was trim, though there were new wrinkles around her eyes, and her once jet-black hair was silver. It looked good on her. Dressed simply in jeans and a blue blouse, she was a striking figure, and not for the first time did Hudson wonder about the fact she never remarried. About the fact that she was always in their home. Even after the boys had left. There were several times his father had called, and he’d heard her voice in the background.

  He finished his plate and sat back on the stool, glancing around the place and seeing it through new eyes. There’d been a lot of improvements since he’d been home last. New leather furniture sat in front of the fireplace. No longer were the walls beige; they’d been updated to an off-white with dark charcoal accents. The dark wood floors and rich leather, coupled with the fresh
, crisp walls, was a good look for the room.

  The new décor and furniture hadn’t quite made it upstairs yet. At least not to his old bedroom. That particular space hadn’t changed one damn bit, and Hudson had been pleased.

  “I talked to Dad’s doctor.”

  Darlene paused and then tossed the scraps from his plate into the garbage before leaning against the counter.

  “What did Regan tell you?” she asked.

  Suddenly restless, Hudson got to his feet. “It’s not good.”

  “No,” Darlene said softly. “I didn’t think it was.” She watched him closely. “When are Wyatt and Travis coming home?”

  “I don’t know. Wyatt is racing, and Travis is gearing up for a new season. Exhibition games right now, but he’s the starting goalie, and that’s something he worked hard to get, but it’s even harder to keep. They just traded for a hotshot backup, and I know he’s keeping Travis on his toes.”

  Darlene’s lips thinned. “I get that the boys are busy. I really do. But for God’s sake, Hudson, surely an exception could be made? He’s their father.” Her cheeks were pink and her nostrils flared. “He’s your father. He deserves more than to be alone when he’s so ill. Deserves more than to be ignored by his children.”

  Hudson loved Darlene. He really did. He knew she meant well and that her heart was in the right place. But in this instance, he had his brothers’ backs. There were reasons things were the way they were.

  “It’s a hell of a lot more complicated than that, Darlene, and you know it.”

  Darlene put her hands on her hips, and all five foot three inches of her vibrated with anger. “I know your relationship with your father isn’t ideal.”

  “That’s putting it mildly.”

  “I know that it’s been hard and tough and that he can be an absolute bastard. But Hudson, the man is dying. If you want to know the absolute truth, he’s been dying for years. Alone here in this big house with no one to keep him company but regret and pain and pride.”

  “He had you.” Hudson wasn’t sure where that came from, and he sure as hell couldn’t take it back.