You Make Me Weak (The Blackwells of Crystal Lake Book 1) Page 7

  Darlene was silent for a few seconds and in that small window of time, Hudson glimpsed an incredible sadness.

  “I wasn’t enough,” she whispered. “I wasn’t your mother.”

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  Darlene sighed. “Look, Hudson. Talk to the boys. That’s all I’m asking. He’s had a hard time these past years. He knows there are wrongs he needs to make right. But he can’t do them on his own. He needs that chance. None of you have seen him struggle. With his health. His loneliness. With the business.”

  Hudson frowned. “Dad wants me to check in on things at the office. Everything okay as far as you know?”

  Darlene shrugged. “As far as I know. But you know John. He worries about everything. Worries about the legacy he’s leaving his boys.” Her eyes hardened. “Boys who have no interest in him or his life.”

  “That’s not fair.” Hudson was starting to get ticked off. As much as Darlene had been a part of their lives, she’d never lived with them. She was the pretty woman who smelled nice. The one who showed up in the morning before they left for school and made sure they had lunches. She was there when they got home. There to make dinner. When John Blackwell got home from the office, she left. There was a lot she hadn’t seen and a hell of a lot more she didn’t know.

  How could he make her understand?

  “A parent’s right to respect and love isn’t just handed to them. Like anything else, it’s earned, and sometimes it’s lost. My father wasn’t just hard on us. That doesn’t come close to describing what went on in this house. There are things you don’t know, Darlene. Things no one knows.”

  Hands clenched into fists he stared across the room at a woman who’d come as close to a mother as he’d known. He was angry. Pissed. And hurt.

  Darlene walked over to him and gave him a hug. When she stepped back, her eyes shimmered. She slowly exhaled.

  “I can’t pretend to know what it feels like to be John Blackwell’s son. I only know what I know.” She attempted a smile, but it fell short. “None of the men in this family are happy. You’re divorced. But then you never should have married Candace in the first place. Wyatt is trying his damnedest to prove something. I don’t know what that something is, but I’m going to tell you that if he’s not careful, it’s going to cost him his life. He drives like the devil and takes chances none of those other drivers take.”

  Hudson couldn’t disagree with her there.

  “And Travis just seems lost to me. The last time I spoke to him, he told me about this fancy new house in LA he’d just spent ten million on. I asked him about the gardens. About what I could send him for his gardens.” She shook her head. “That boy used to help me outside for hours. He loved getting his hands dirty. Do you know what he told me?”

  Hudson shrugged, damn certain she was gonna fill him in.

  “He told me he hadn’t even been outside. He had no clue what was in his back garden. What kind of man buys a ten-million-dollar house and doesn’t even know what kind of flowers populate his garden?”

  “Darlene. He’s busy.”

  “No. He’s spoiled and lost and right now only cares about himself. His agent knows more about what goes on in his life than he does. It’s not good for him. He’s not grounded. None of you are.”

  “I don’t know what you want me to say.” Frustrated, Hudson ran his hands through his hair.

  “I want you to talk to your brothers. I want you to do what you can to get them home so that they can make peace with your father. I want all of you to give him the chance to make things right. If you don’t. If he…” She shuddered and swiped at her eyes. “If he passes without that happening, there will be consequences. Lifelong consequences.”

  He kept his mouth shut, because he didn’t know how to respond, and because deep down, he knew she was right.

  “I’ll see what I can do,” Hudson said, finally getting his thoughts together.

  The relief in Darlene’s face wasn’t something she could hide. She nodded and headed back to the kitchen. “Okay. I’m off to the hospital. I told your father I’d bring him some real food, even though lately he’s had a hard time keeping it down.” She raised an eyebrow. “Are you going to pop in and see him?”

  “Yeah. Later. I want to check out the boathouse. Dad said the dock was starting to rot. Thought maybe I’d take a shot at fixing it instead of hiring out the job.”

  “He would like that.” She scooped her purse from the counter and took a few steps before she paused and looked back at him. “Where were you all night?”

  Hudson’s tongue tripped all over the place because suddenly he felt like a guilty sixteen-year-old who’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing.

  “Never mind,” Darlene said with a small smile. “It’s none of my business. I’ll be back tomorrow after a meeting at the church with some homemade soup.”

  “Darlene, you don’t have to.”

  “No,” she replied. “I don’t. But you’re home, and it’s been too long since I’ve had the chance to spoil you.”

  She was almost to the front door when he heard her voice drift back at him. “Rebecca Draper is back in town. If you don’t already know.”

  The door clicked behind her, and Hudson was left on his own. He stretched and walked over to the bank of windows, watching the water roll in from the lake. It was going to be another sunny day. Hot by the looks of it. His gaze swept the shoreline and rested on the boathouse.

  How many nights had he and Rebecca spent out there, holed up in the room above it? Too many to count. Hudson backed away from the window, shaking off the melancholy that had claimed him, and headed upstairs. He needed a quick shower and a change. He’d take stock of the boathouse and dock, make note of what he needed for repairs, and then he’d head back to town to get them.

  A few hours of good hard labor would help him think. Help him figure out how he was going to deal with Rebecca. Because they were going to have a conversation whether she wanted to or not.

  Decision made, he got busy.

  Chapter 10

  It was nearly four in the afternoon when Rebecca pulled into the parking lot at the hospital. Liam was with her, anxious to get inside and show Sal the new model car he’d convinced his pal Jason to trade a hockey card for. A gorgeous replica of a 1972 Corvette, it was shiny red, and the details were exquisite.

  “Do you think he’ll like it, Mom?” Liam pushed a chunk of blond hair away from his face and looked at her. As always, the sight of him made her heart hurt. Sometimes it was so full, she didn’t think she could stand it.

  “I think Sal will adore it.” Her voice shook a little bit as she spoke. The elderly gentleman meant a lot to her and Liam. Six months ago, when he’d hired her, Sal had taken a shine to her son, and the two of them had hit it off. Sal even started referring to Liam as one of his own grandboys. It meant a lot to Rebecca, considering her own father wasn’t grandfather material. Kind of hard to be there for your family when you were a mean drunk with a hard right hook, and in and out of jail.

  “I hope so. I think it’s the exact same car as the one he had when he used to be a badass.”

  “Liam. Language.”

  “What? Sal told me he was a badass. Besides.” Liam shrugged. “That’s not a bad word. Maybe when you were a kid it was, but not now.”

  She shook her head as the two of them slid from her car and headed inside. Crystal Lake Memorial Hospital was a bright, sunny place, and the design was such that there weren’t many areas without natural light. For a hospital, as bleak as they could be, it wasn’t so bad. They made their way through the main entrance and over to the elevators. She listened to Liam talk excitedly about some new video game he was playing with his pals, Michael and Ian. It had something to do with cars, and he was hoping Sal would be able to play with him when he got out of the hospital.

  Again, her heart squeezed. Sal’s prognosis wasn’t good. His cancer had spread. And that was something she hadn
’t shared with Liam. Not yet anyway.

  They reached the fifth floor, and she paused, spying Regan Thorne over by the nurses station. “Go on and see Sal. He’s expecting you. I’ll be there in a minute or two.”

  Liam ran off, the path to Salvatore’s room one he knew well. She smiled as she watched his blond curls bounce. Not many boys would take time out of their Sunday afternoon, especially on fair weekend, to visit a sick elderly man. She had a good kid. Considering the toxic environment he’d been born into, it was saying something.

  Turning quickly, she hiked her bag over her shoulder and headed to the nurses station.

  “Working Sundays now?” she said, approaching the doctor. A white overcoat didn’t hide the sleek black dress and elegant heels.

  Regan glanced up from the chart she was reading and smiled. “I got called in to check on a patient, but I’ll be heading out soon to dinner. You here to see John and Sal?” Regan knew her routine well.

  “Yes. I thought I’d pop into John’s room. That’s if… Is he alone right now?” She was tumbling over her words and hoped that her cheeks weren’t as red as they felt, because that would be embarrassing. She was thirty-three, for God’s sake, not a damn teenager.

  Something shifted in Regan’s eyes. They softened with understanding. “Hudson isn’t here, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  Was she that easy to read? “Okay.” Rebecca started to back away. “Thanks.”

  “Hey, what’s this I heard about you and Ethan Burke?”

  Rebecca groaned. “Don’t believe everything you hear, Regan.”

  “I know the way this town works.” The doctor chuckled. “Still, it was a good story.”

  “I’m sure it was,” Rebecca murmured to herself as she made her way toward the private wing known as Grandview. She pushed through the doors, and a few moments later, slipped inside John Blackwell’s room.

  He was sitting up, which surprised her, and she smiled when he glanced up at her.

  “There’s my favorite girl,” he said gruffly..

  “Hey.” She walked to the bed and eyed the food tray. It was half-empty. Again. Another surprise. “I see your appetite has returned.”

  “Not really. Darlene brought me some soup and, well, the mashed potatoes weren’t half-bad today.”

  His thick white hair was askew, and he ran his hands through it. The action was simple, but it reminded her so much of Hudson that she had to look away. He coughed, and couldn’t seem to stop. She motioned to the oxygen mask, but he shook his head, and after a while the coughing eased.

  “You look better,” she murmured. And he did. There was color in his face, and his eyes seemed brighter.

  “Hudson’s back.” He spoke bluntly—as was his way—and there it was, the thing they never talked about.

  Rebecca poured some water into a cup and handed it to John. “I know.”

  Back when Rebecca had dated Hudson, she and John Blackwell had never been close. He’d been the aloof father, with the hard, stern face and a disapproving manner. He thought she wasn’t good enough for his boy—being a Draper and all—and while never impolite, there was a noticeable lack of warmth when he was around. After Hudson left Crystal Lake, she’d had nothing to do with the man. It was by chance they’d reconnected several months earlier. He’d brought a dog into the clinic. The poor thing had wandered onto the Blackwell property, half-starved, flea ridden, and heavy with pups.

  John had known Rebecca right away, and after that initial visit, he started coming by the vet clinic a few times a week. At first it was to check on the dog and her pups. But as time passed, Rebecca realized it was just an excuse to come in and talk. He started bringing her coffee on Fridays, and it became a regular thing, right up until he got sick.

  They’d never discussed her past with Hudson, and the John she came to know wasn’t anything like the one she remembered. This man carried a burden and seemed lost. Something inside her responded to his sadness, and here they were.

  He took the glass of water. “That’s all you’ve got to say? I know?”

  “It is,” she said, taking a step back.

  “That’s surprising. Thought there’d be more.”

  “There is. I just don’t want to talk about it right now.” She was more than a little hurt he’d not told her his oldest son was coming back to town.

  He studied her for a few moments and then took a sip from his glass. “Did I ever tell you how Angel and I met?”

  “No,” she murmured, relieved he’d decided to move on.

  John was silent for a few seconds, his forehead furrowed, as if considering things. His head dropped back to the pillow, and she inched closer, taking the glass of water from his hands. They shook a little, and she gently squeezed his fingers.

  “I was home. On leave with a few weeks of nothing to do but drink and mess around with whoever was willing to mess around with me.” A wry grin touched his mouth. “What else was a young man of twenty-two to do? I had no desire to get involved with anyone. No desire to put down roots. Much to my parents’ dismay. And then I met Angelique the day before I was to head back to active duty. It was early spring, and the daffodils poked through the ground around the dock. I remember ice still clung to the edge of the lake, and mist rolled across the water as I headed out for a run.”

  He closed his eyes and smiled. “Nothing in the world will clear your head like air that smells of winter but feels like spring. I ran damn near around the lake and ended up in town. Decided to stop at a small café that had opened up in the heart of the square, right there beside the clock tower. I walked in, dripping of sweat and smelling of the previous evening’s bad choices, and there she was.”

  His voice was so wistful, it brought a lump to Rebecca’s throat.

  “She was taking someone’s order. Jeremy Levitz, if I recall correctly. Angel was small, with the tiniest hands I’d ever seen. Her eyes were as blue as the Caribbean, and her hair was so shiny, like spun gold. It was long, hung nearly to her waist. I’d never seen anything like it. Never seen anyone like her. She came over and took my order, and I could barely muster the courage to look her in the face. I went home and told my parents I’d met the girl I was going to marry.”

  “Really,” Rebecca said with a soft smile.

  He smiled. “Of course, Angel didn’t make things easy. I managed to get her information from the owner of the café and went round her apartment that night, but her roommate told me she wasn’t home. She was at the drive-in with that damn Levitz.”

  John started coughing but again shooed her away when she would have given him oxygen.

  “I drove out there and found them. No way could you miss Levitz’s bright red Chevy. I yanked open the door and told Angel to wait for me. Told her I’d be home in the fall. That my service would be over, and I was coming back to Crystal Lake to make my life.”

  John fell silent then, seeming exhausted. When he spoke, his voice was noticeably weaker. “She waited.” He attempted a smile. “I loved her like I’ve never loved anyone.”

  “I know,” Rebecca watched him closely.

  “She gave me three boys, and I…” His chin trembled, and he paused. “I didn’t take care of that gift. I did things I shouldn’t have. And then when she was taken from me, I was hard on those boys. Hard on them because I felt sorry for myself. Sorry that I was alone. Sorry and…” He sighed. “Guilty.” That last word was whispered, and she barely heard him.

  There was such sadness in his voice, such self-condemnation, that Rebecca felt her eyes water.

  “What kind of father does that? Takes out his shortcomings on his boys?”

  “The kind of father who’s hurting.”

  He looked at her then, eyes as clear as could be. “That’s no excuse.”

  He was right. Of course he was. But Rebecca didn’t have the heart to agree with him. Instead, she offered a small smile and filled his water glass.

  “I need to go. Liam’s with Sal.”

  “How’s
that old bastard doing?” His breathing labored, he finally accepted the oxygen from Rebecca.

  “He’s doing as well as can be expected. But it doesn’t look good. The cancer’s spread, and I don’t think chemo is an option anymore.”

  John inhaled deeply and pulled off his mask. “Give him my best. Maybe if I’m feeling up to it, I’ll take a walk down there to see him.”

  She nodded. “I will. You have a good night, John.”

  The elderly man nodded but didn’t speak again, clearly exhausted. With one last smile, and a small kiss to his temple, Rebecca left John Blackwell’s room. Preoccupied, she didn’t bother to look around as she headed back to the main hospital.

  If she had, she would have seen Hudson a few feet from his father’s room, watching her closely, his expression unreadable. As it was, she pushed through the double doors and headed to Sal’s room, while Hudson watched her go. His face dark, his eyes bleak, he stood there for a few more seconds, and then disappeared inside his father’s room.

  Chapter 11

  Monday afternoon found Hudson down on the dock. He’d slept like shit—couldn’t turn off his brain—and had been up since early morning working. His Sunday hadn’t gone as planned. More determined than ever to see Rebecca, he’d swung by her place, but no one was home. He’d hung around for at least an hour before deciding the neighbor was either going to call the cops or come at him with a rifle. So he’d left.

  What the hell had Becca been doing in his father’s room? And why hadn’t his dad said anything to Hudson about it?

  It was a question that dogged him all day, and one he’d not been able to answer. The sun was low in the sky as he finished nailing the last board in place. He grabbed an old towel and wiped sweat from his forehead. He was dirty and tired and thirsty as hell. Tossing the towel back onto the dock, he trudged inside the boathouse and headed to the fridge.

  He’d stocked up the day before and grabbed a cold beer, taking a long pull from the can before heading back out to take a look at his handiwork. The smell of freshly cut wood and sawdust hung heavy in the air, along with a healthy dose of fall. In the distance, the trees surrounding the lake were starting to turn, and he knew within a week the landscape would look much different. No longer would it be green, but awash in red, orange, and yellow.